Unlock a Fulfilling Life with this Powerful Mindset Shift

See yourself in the distant future: You’ve grown old and grey, and your body has weakened as age has taken its toll on you. You’re lying in bed, and your body has become so frail that you are physically unable to do anything. There is only waiting now as the grim reaper approaches. The final hours are here.

In your last moments, as you look back on your life, you feel regret. Instead of pursuing your dream career, you stayed in a monotonous 9-5 office job until you retired. Maybe you were too busy being productive and hustling, and you didn’t spend enough time with your loved ones and family. Or perhaps you never did that solo backpacking trip because it was too scary to go alone.

As you reflect on all of this, you wonder what life would have been like if you had stayed true to your desires. Your dreams. Your authentic self. If only there was some way to go back, and do it all over.

And then…

Magic. Poof! Here you are, in the current moment, reading this post. Somehow, fate decided to give you a second chance. Instead of dying with regret, the universe has given you a precious opportunity to live your life again. This time, hopefully without regret. How are you going to do things differently this time?

The fact that we will all die is one of our greatest blessings.

I was walking through the park on a beautiful, summer day. The sun was shining bright with only a few fluffy clouds in the sky. People were all around the park, enjoying the great weather: Sunbathing, playing frisbee, having a picnic, or walking their dogs. The scene felt like some perfect frame out of a movie. Happy, calm, and peaceful.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

I looked over, and saw a gorgeous woman carrying what was probably twice her bodyweight in all sorts of supplies: Fold-up tables, tents, tarps, chairs, and other materials of the like. She was clearly very fit, and she seemed to be carrying everything with almost no effort. Feelings of calm and peace quickly fell away, as nervousness started to take over my body.

“It is, isn’t it?” I said, trying to hide my anxiety. Wow, she’s really pretty. “Do you want help with any of that?”

“No, it’s fine, we’re setting up here anyway,” She smiled as she began to effortlessly set down all of her supplies. “We’re hosting a fun event for people to connect and build community, and…”

We continued to chat for a while, and my nerves continued to grow. Not only was this woman beautiful, but she exuded a warm and kind personality. I could tell that she had a really good heart. After all, she was hosting this event in service of connecting other people. I was immediately attracted, and I wanted to get to know her more. But I had just met her, and I didn’t want to come off as creepy, and I could imagine everything that might go wrong, and, and-

“Anyway, it was nice chatting with you! I need to go run to my car to get some more supplies, but I hope you have a nice day!” She turned around and started walking away.

I stood there for several moments, dumbfounded and unsure what to do. Shit, I blew it! I thought. She was getting farther and farther away.

Maybe I should have asked for her number? What if she said no though? I only talked to her for a few minutes. And it’d probably be weird if I waited here for her to come back…

I started to look around, hoping a magic solution would rain down from the heavens to save my nervous ass. Then I saw graffiti on some rocks next to me.

In all capital letters, the graffiti said: “We all die.”

(Although I’m not sure what was up with their spacing lol.)

In that moment, it felt like I started to process a million things a second.

We all die. That means me too. I am going die.

If I’m going to die, does it really matter if she rejects me?

When I die, do I want to look back on this moment with regret?

Is this how I want to live my life? When I die, do I want to look back on my life with regret?

…Fuck.

I started chasing after her. It must have looked pretty funny, as I was wearing flip flops while trying to catch up as fast as I could. I’m sure you already know this, but flip flops aren’t the best footwear for sprinting across a field, and this is also not quite what I imagine in a Hollywood “boy meets girl” kind of scene.

“Hey again,” I said, panting as I caught up to her.

She turned around smiled. “Hi,” she said, with a bit of surprise.

“I know we just met, but I think you’re beautiful and I really like you. Would you want to go on a date?”

She paused for a moment as her eyes grew larger, taking in what I had just said. I think my heart paused for a moment too. Even though it was only an instant, it felt like hours were going by. And then, her smile came back, a little bit bigger this time. “Yea, actually. That sounds really nice.”

When we feel fear, death gives us perspective on what really matters.

Even though she said yes, it would have also been okay if she said no. What really mattered was that I went for it. Despite the nervousness and anxiety, I expressed my authentic desires and my true self in that moment.

Yes, I was scared. Yes, I was worried about what she would say. But when I thought about life on a larger scale, I realized that living life to the fullest was more important than my fears of being rejected by a woman. The question was simple: When I look back on my life, am I going to wish that I had stayed in my fear of social rejection? Or am I going to wish that I had found the courage to pursue what I really wanted?

In this story, it was about asking a woman out on a date, but this idea applies to other areas in our lives too. When are we too scared to explore a dream career? When are we too scared to set healthy boundaries with our friends and family? When are we too scared to tell someone that we love them?

And, if you were to die tomorrow, would you regret staying in the fear?

Ask yourself now, where in life is your fear holding you back? Are you going to do anything to change that?

“Momento Mori”

This is a Latin phrase that translates to “Remember you will die”, which is one of the most powerful reminders we can have.

Death makes every moment precious.

The fact that we are going to die means that our time in this world is so preciously short. It is such a beautiful thing that we get to be alive, to experience this short little blip in time that is life. To me, that helps to generate an enormous amount of gratitude (and by the way! Studies have shown that gratitude is highly correlated with health/happiness.) Even this current moment that we are experiencing right now - me as I write this, and you as you read this - may be a moment we never get to experience again. Wow, what an amazing wonder that we get to be here! It brings me to the present moment, knowing that I only have a limited amount of time to feel, to experience, to be.

This applies to any emotion (or lack of emotion) as well. When you’re feeling joy or happiness, it may be easier to savor and enjoy that moment. When you’re feeling sadness, anger, or grief, there’s still beauty in feeling and being with those emotions too. Regardless of which feeling it is, you’re experiencing a core part of what it means to be alive, to be human. It’s all a part of the experience of life. As I write this, I personally have been going through depression, which means sometimes feeling numb or apathetic - a lack of emotion. And I see that as a beautiful part of the human experience as well; it is a curious wonder that shows me a part of the vast spectrum of being alive. Even though it doesn’t feel good, and even though it fucking sucks sometimes (or a lot of the times), there’s still gratitude for getting a greater depth of experience in what it means to be human.

So. Remember that you will die.

Allow that reminder to help you savor every moment.

Allow that reminder to give you the courage to overcome your fears and live life to the fullest.

The things that we are often scared of - whether it’s the unknown, failure, rejection, judgement, and so on - these things are not so significant in the grand scheme of our lives as a whole. In the end, if we die, do these fears really matter?

Focus instead on what it means for you to live a happy and full life. Pursue it, and cherish every moment along the way.

This, right now, is your second chance to live without regret.