How to Learn Anything in 5 Simple Steps

Whether you’ve decided to pick up a new hobby, learn a skill, or maybe revisit an existing passion, we typically have high aspirations for our goals, or what we hope to achieve. Unfortunately, people often get discouraged and quit before getting very far.

As I start to create and launch this website, I feel the familiar sense of fear - the possibility of failure and embarrassing myself - that is so common when doing something new. I’ve procrastinated so much on working on this site because I’m scared to put myself out there in front of the world for everyone to see. What if you all think my writing sucks, or that my website looks ugly, or that my marketing is annoying and ineffective? What if you actually work with me and you absolutely hate my classes/workshops? And maybe I can try to ignore what the haters say, but what if it’s actually true, and I’m just horribly incompetent? Maybe it’s better for me to just not try, instead of potentially dealing with all of that fallout. (Spoiler alert, it’s not.)

We’re going to walk through how to work through all of this. And yes, writing about this is just as much for myself as it is for you.

Step 1: Be okay with sucking

This is, by far, the most important step. It is more important than anything else. If you are okay with sucking, if you are okay with having no idea what you’re doing, if you are okay with being the n00b that is ages behind, then everything else falls into place. You’ll be receptive to feedback that helps you grow, and you will be okay with trying again when you inevitably fail. Too often, people give up because they try something new a few times, and they aren’t good at it. They don’t see immediate results. If you try something that you’ve never done before, you should expect to suck at it, and there is nothing wrong with that.

We often hold ourselves to high standards so it may be hard to accept sucking. We don’t want people to judge us on potential incompetence. While this generally makes sense, most people aren’t going to judge you for finding the courage to be bad at something. (And if they do, that’s probably more related to them than it is you.) Imagine you have a friend that is out of shape, and they are going to the gym for the first time. They don’t know how the machines work or how to do the exercises, but they’re committed to changing their lifestyle to be more healthy. They’re going to get in there and figure it out even if they have no idea what they’re doing. You probably wouldn’t judge that friend, right? As a matter of fact, you’d probably be stoked and proud of them for finding the courage to get into the gym and make a positive life change. If you’re feeling like people will judge you for sucking, see and support yourself the same way you would for that friend going to the gym.

This dog is me. It’s also you, and that’s okay. Even after lots of practice, it’s still us. And it’s not just okay, it’s actually good. The more we can hold onto the beginner mindset, the more room we have for growth, and the greater we can become.

Step 2: Do a shitload of reps

Once we’re okay with sucking, go and do that. A lot. Get out there and fail over and over and over again. It’ll be great. Once you have given yourself permission to suck, it’s easier to do a lot of reps without being discouraged. After all, if you do a bad job, that was probably expected anyway. You’re still learning. If you do a good job, then hell yea, we’re going in the right direction! This is important because high repetition is key to mastery, and okayness with sucking is key to high repetition.

One of my great teachers, Jordan, had a really good conversation with me about this:

Jordan: “If you try something new and it doesn’t work out, that would be a wonderful success.”

Me: “Yea, I think I get it! Like, it’s okay if I try and I fail.”

Jordan: “That’s not what I said.”

Me: (Thinking for a moment…) “Oh. It’s not just okay if I try and I fail. It’s a wonderful success if I try and fail.”

Jordan (smiling): “Yes, that’s right.”

Doing lots of reps and failing is fantastic because that is what we need in order to learn. Doing this is part of a necessary process for growth, so if we’re committing to that process, then that’s already a wonderful success - regardless of the individual outcomes along the way. This leads to the next point…

Step 3: Actively seek out feedback and integrate it

Every time you try something and “fail,” you are not actually failing. There is simply feedback being given to you that you tried something, and a particular consequence was the result. Any outcome is not related to the value or worth of your character, and it also provides very valuable information. Based on what happened, the next time you try whatever you’re doing, you can incorporate that data. Maybe try things a slightly different way if you didn’t like the first result. Or, if you did like the result of a particular action, continue deepening that action while still exploring other areas.

As you continue to do a lot of reps and incorporate feedback from those reps, you’ll start to develop more and more skill. As a matter of fact, it would be very difficult to do that and not get better. It’s pretty much inevitable that you’ll be successful if you are able to stick with the process. The hardest part is sticking with the process, because improvement is not always visible. Even though it may be hard to see, every single rep that you do, regardless of whether it goes well or not, has an impact on all following reps. Sooner or later (usually later), you’ll become pretty good at what you’re doing.

Step 4: Repeat all previous steps

There is a very dangerous point here when you become good at something, and that is complacency/arrogance. If you’re thinking something like “Yea, I’m all set, I’m good at this now and I can just do my thing,” you are destined to plateau or even worsen. I sometimes see this in the personal growth community where a person has a beautiful epiphany or life-changing experience. The experience opened their eyes, and now they’ve “got it all figured out.”

This is bullshit. The epiphanies and big experiences are still beautiful, and they definitely provide wonderful direction, but it’s not the end point. We’ll never have everything figured out. And while we may have developed lots of competence (and it’s good to recognize that), it’s just as important to recognize that there are still areas where we might suck and that there is room for growth - even in areas where we think we are strong. The most successful people in the world are constantly looking for areas where they can continue to improve and grow. If we stop looking for these areas, if we stop with our reps, if we stop seeking feedback, then the improvement stops as well. It is important to maintain the mindset and habits that led to your growth if you want the growth to continue.

Step 5: Rest when you need it

Lifting weights is a way to get stronger, but if you just lifted weights 24/7 and never slept, your body would be in shambles. Rest is just as important as the work that you put in. A proverb from the Japanese martial art of Kendo:

Student: “Master, how long will it take me to master the sword?”

Master: “10,000 hours.”

Student: “What if I practice every day without rest?”

Master: “Then it will take you 20,000 hours."

Sometimes you just need a nap right meow.

Sorry if I butchered the proverb, but the important thing is the message. Not getting enough rest in between reps can lead to burnout, and working too hard can be counterproductive to progress. Listen to your body and take breaks as needed. The work that we do is what enables the growth, and resting is where the growth actually happens.

Final thoughts

So there you have it. Be okay with sucking, do it a lot, seek feedback from those reps, and rest in between. I hope this process helps with whatever you’re exploring. I’ve found that it’s helped me with a variety of areas in life, such as being a supportive manager at a tech company, improving performance in sports, ranking very highly (top 0.1% of players) in competitive video games, and developing deeper connection with other humans. As I finish writing this and as I continue to explore creating Empowermend, I recognize that this is the new thing that I’m going to suck at. Maybe my words aren’t clear and are misinterpreted. Maybe I say things that are controversial or incorrect, and I have to face those consequences (#cancelled but hopefully not lol). Maybe everything I’m putting out there is mediocre quality, and people don’t want to listen to me or attend my offerings. All of this is part of the process, and being in the process itself is the wonderful success, even if my some of my outcomes suck. While this post is titled “How to Learn Anything in 5 Simple Steps”, mastery (or any sort of end goal) is not actually the point. The process is the more important thing to adhere to, and becoming skilled is actually more of a side effect from being on the continuous journey.

Lastly, as part of seeking feedback, feel free to let me know if you have any thoughts on all of this. I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes, commonly known as the man in the arena:

“It is not the critic who counts;

not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood,

who strives valiantly,

who errs and comes up short again and again,

because there is no effort without error or shortcoming,

but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement,

and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly,

so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt